The Life of an Aquajogger

Short post here about the life of an Aquajogger.

The Aquajogger wakes up around 9:30am and immediately realizes that because today is a new day…the aquajogger has yet to get an aquajogging session in. After meandering around for a few hours, the aquajogger realizes that it is already 1:30pm and he has done nothing substantial yet except justify the necessity of eating 2000 calories before noon just to keep his body functioning. After some brief internet searches on anything a human can possibly do that is comparable (cardiovascularally) to the benefits of aquajogging (and coming up with none) the aquajogger then proceeds to look online for the aquatic center deep section time schedule. As with the day before, the aquajogger is alarmed to find that he/she only has 1.5 hours until the deep section is closed for “cleaning” (whatever that means). Rushing to get on a bathing suit and get the necessary equipment, the aquajogger makes it to the pool with exactly one hour to workout. After 10 minutes of warming up (or, more truthfully, 10 minutes of frantically thinking of a hard workout), the workout begins. 10 minutes have passed. 15 minutes have passed. 17 minutes have passed. Ah shit you just realized that you looked at your watch 25 seconds ago and the time didn’t change by 20 minutes like you expected it would. Just as you begin to wonder why the hell you are doing this when you could be watching the new Black Mirror episodes, you realize that you are at the most integral part of the workout: where the champions are separated from the wannabees. Does the aquajogger, bored out of his mind, CHANGE his workout to conclude after just 30 minutes in the pool, ending all hope of maintaining his current fitness level…or does he continue the 60 minute workout he promised himself he would complete and truly discover his potential as a runner.

The answer is that he chooses the 30 minute option and sits in the sauna for 30 minutes for a “60 minute workout.”

After sending the necessary snapchats to ensure everyone knows how hard the aquajogger is working, he returns home, triumphant and a hero. He then changes into his most comfortable sweatpants, hops on the couch and takes a nap of champions.

This is the life of an aquajogger.

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